Sex, Giggles & Pain: My first shopping spree at a cannabis dispensary

Adriana Kertzer
6 min readJul 6, 2018

Rebranding Pot is a series about the changing aesthetics of the cannabis industry.

Image: @ladiesofparadise

I am here to confess. Over the past three years, I have researched the evolution of cannabis branding without ever setting foot in an actual dispensary. Shameful. The reason? I live in New York, one of the “prohibition states” where medical marijuana is legal but recreational use is not.

During a recent trip to California, I rectified this disgrace in style. I went shopping. Bigly. I downloaded the Weedmaps app, did my research, and hailed an Uber.

What did I buy? Let me tell you.

Foria Explore: making anal sex fun

I am sure everyone walking into a dispensary is thinking about anal sex. Ok, maybe not, but I am sure anyone who is keeping up with the evolution of cannabis products knows there is a whole new world of products aimed at enhancing sexual pleasure.

Foria is a company that fell on my radar because of its discreet and sophisticated packaging.

FORIA products bring to your fingertips the power of ancient plant medicines to activate deep healing and unlock profound pleasures. Hand-crafted from medicinal plants — known for their aphrodisiac and analgesic benefits — using modern extraction techniques for optimal potency and purity. — Foria Website

Once at the dispensary, two types of Foria suppositories intrigued me. Let me start by describing the fun one.

As Sophie Saint Thomas noted in her revealing Refinery 29 article, “The Crazy Trick That Made Anal Sex Super Easy & Fun,” Foria Explore is an anal suppository made with jojoba extract, purified THC, CBD isolate from organically-grown hemp, and organic sunflower lecithin. This combination enhances blood flow, reduces pain, promotes relaxation, relieves anxiety, and reduces muscle spasticity. I snagged a single dose package that is still in my make-up bag.

Foria Relief: Because life is not just fun and games

Menstrual cramps are painful and life-altering. Once a month I suffer and, therefore, everyone around me suffers as well. At the dispensary I discovered Foria’s Relief vaginal suppositories, crafted to maximize muscle relaxation and pain relief without the psychotropic (“high”) effect of cannabis.

This plant medicine has a long, cross cultural history of use as a natural aide in easing symptoms associated with menstruation. Our intention is to share the powerful medicinal properties of this plant while utilizing modern extraction techniques to standardize purity and potency, thereby ensuring a safe and accessible experience for all women. Each serving contains a specially formulated blend of THC and CBD, cannabinoids which are known to relax muscles and release tension and cramping in the body. Through the use of a suppository these antispasmodic and pain relieving properties go directly to the area in need of relief. The plant medicine works with your body to gently, yet profoundly, shift your unique experience in a holistic and natural way. — Foria Website

This product is incredible. In a few minutes my abdominal and back pain was gone and I was able to keep working. Its effect lasted an entire afternoon and night. Magic.

Dosist was recently named one of the most innovative companies of 2018 by Fast Company.

Dosist: Perfect smokeless pulls

Dosist’s pens use “superior vaporization elements built for activating the key
cannabis compounds in [their] formulas” and deliver accurate dosing upon each smokeless pull. I have been swooning over their space-age, minimal design for a long time.

For those overwhelmed by the dozens of strains offered at the local dispensary — or unsure how to get a just-right dose from smoking — Dosist makes things easy. The company’s sleek white vape pens come loaded with one of six custom formulas — bliss, sleep, calm (high CDB), relief, arouse, and passion — and measure out a precise 2.25 milligram dose with each smokeless pull. Labels list the strain profile and key flavor and medicinally beneficial compounds (terpenes). — Fast Company

I bought two 50-dose pens, one labelled “Sleep” and the other “Bliss”.

“A THC-focused formula supported by CBD in a ratio of 8:1 THC-to-CBD. The formula is supported by a sleep-promoting terpene blend that works to help calm and relax your body and mind to ensure you have a restful night’s sleep. The pre-filled dose pen™ offers over 200 doses (2.25mg per dose) and ensures a precise dose every time.” Dosist Website
“A THC-forward formula balanced in a 9:1 ratio with CBD complemented by uplifting terpenes such as a- and β-pinene and terpinolene. The pre-filled dose pen™ offers over 200 doses (2.25mg per dose) and ensures a precise dose every time.” Dosist Website

Sleep does exactly what it promised: it helps you relax and fall asleep. Have you ever taken a melatonin pill? This is pretty similar yet faster acting.

Bliss is the fun one. I recently took it to a wedding and three drags ensured a night of giggles, dancing and smiles. The best part? I woke up the next day with no hangover, all my memories intact, feeling relaxed, and happy. Forget booze, I found something MUCH better.

Kushy Punch: Gummies

I am a huge fan of Plus’ gummies but decided to broaden my horizons during my shopping trip in Orange County by giving Kushy Punch a try. There are different types to choose from — I chose two types: a sativa and a hybrid.

According to Kushy Punch, the sativa gummy is supposed to stimulate energy, have an uplifting cerebral effect, and promote creativity and focus. I agree. It also makes me chatty.

Here is their commercial “describing” this product:

And here is Kushy Punch’s product description:

You awaken gently from your slumber on an early Saturday morning. You’re instantly washed over by the brightness from the weekend sun, permeating through your curtains; it’s time for Sativa. Like a warm sunny day, you’ll feel energized, re-invigorated, and ready to take on the day. — Kushy Punch Website

At nighttime, I prefer the hybrid gummy which is supposed to rest your body, promote deep relaxation and mind/body balance, and have an uplifting cerebral effect.

There is no shame in asking for a pre-rolled joint.

Zkittlez: Better than Skittles

After confessing that I still don’t know how to roll a joint, I described to the budtender what I was looking for: something upbeat and relaxing. She recommended the indica strain Zkittlez. Leafly describes it as follows:

Zkittlez is an indica-dominant mix of Grape Apeand Grapefruit that is crossed with another undisclosed strain to produce this candy-flavored cannabis bred by 3rd Gen Family and Terp Hogz. This award-winning combination took 1st Place at the 2016 Emerald Cup and 1st Place Indica at the 2015 Cannabis Cups in San Francisco and in Michigan. The chunky colasexplode in a spectrum of light green hues and emit a sweet, tropical blend of fruit flavors. The effects of Zkittlez are surprisingly uplifting for an indica, leaving consumers focused, alert, and happy while relaxing the body to help unwind any time of day. — Leafly Review

I can attest Zkittlez was the perfect choice for the end of the day at the beach.

Now, back in New York City, all I can do is hope that one day soon we will be able to access such a broad range of products in our own back yards. Afterall, who doesn’t want great sex, pain relief and giggles?

Want more?

There are still many more cannabis brands to talk about. These are just a few examples, and a teaser of what’s to come. In my articles, I’ll explore the companies and people that are reshaping the future of the cannabis industry.

Adriana Kertzer is a Partner at Plant Medicine Law Group, a psychedelics and cannabis law firm powered by immigrant women. @JewsWhoToke